When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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