It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
