I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
