some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
