why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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