random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
