I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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