I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
