Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the liver wants what the liver wants
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
