i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
