this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
40s are totally the cure
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
