you guys were way drunker than both of me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
