she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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