You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize