I will die if light touches me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
