let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
