Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
