I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize