Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
