new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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