you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
