Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
