You work out of a Hotel?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
