If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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