just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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