Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
