Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize