Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
