im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
