he told me I talked like a deaf person
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
