He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
