Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
