Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
