THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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