ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
