if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
