he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
