She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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