Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
