I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
