Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Couch. On fire.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
