White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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