I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize