youre lurking in front of me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
