Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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