Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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