How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
