No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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