Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
