I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize