I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
