i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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