So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
