She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
