Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
