first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
