like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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