Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
