hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
