hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
