So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My bed smells like the plague
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