So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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