the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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